I'm new to online dating, but I feel like I've already pretty much mastered it thanks in no small part to my beautiful Italian online dating coach/coworker, ACat. Her first words of advice to me in the form of poetry: "Love is a battlefield!" The girl is gifted with a wisdom beyond her years, what can I say?
Today, we focused on my profile picture. My coaching session with her went as follows:
Not sure which store: Hah! That doesn't look like a guy that makes $4 an hour now does it! Not to brag, but it took quite a bit of photography genius to be able to capture such a classy background without including the "2 items" tag and the coathanger directly to the left of my shoulder
A Cat: You're selling yourself short with your picture
Me: Why?
A Cat: It's blurry.
Me: Girls love blurry!
A Cat: You look bad.
Me: I want to look bad. That way it's like girls get a Christmas surprise when they meet me in real life!
A Cat:...Take a pic of you playing soccer or with a puppy or something.
Me: Why?
A Cat: It's blurry.
Me: Girls love blurry!
A Cat: You look bad.
Me: I want to look bad. That way it's like girls get a Christmas surprise when they meet me in real life!
A Cat:...Take a pic of you playing soccer or with a puppy or something.
I liked my blurry ugly strategy, but I decided that I had an online dating coach for a reason (because I found the idea hilarious), and I should take advantage of the resources available.
Later that day, I decided to go for a fashion shoot for my profile picture. By fashion shoot, I mean that I went to the mall to try on a bunch of clothes and take pictures in the dressing room with my crappy camera phone, pretending that I own nice things.
I think it's funny when guys don't have a good sense of style. Having style is so easy. All you have to do is wear exactly what the mannequin is wearing. Which is what I did because if it were up to me making myself fashionable, I'd wear parachute pants and hoodies all day. Which is kind of what I do, except I'm too poor to buy parachute pants so I just wear basketball shorts. Anyway, back to the deceiving photos!
Later that day, I decided to go for a fashion shoot for my profile picture. By fashion shoot, I mean that I went to the mall to try on a bunch of clothes and take pictures in the dressing room with my crappy camera phone, pretending that I own nice things.
I think it's funny when guys don't have a good sense of style. Having style is so easy. All you have to do is wear exactly what the mannequin is wearing. Which is what I did because if it were up to me making myself fashionable, I'd wear parachute pants and hoodies all day. Which is kind of what I do, except I'm too poor to buy parachute pants so I just wear basketball shorts. Anyway, back to the deceiving photos!
French Connection: Smiling for the security camera. Also, a bit confused by this outfit. I guess necklaces with big red 50% off lettering is "in" this year, but I couldn't seem to find them. The most fashionable things always sell out the quickest I guess :sigh:
J Crew: I couldn't find the scarf. I considered substituting parachute pants to make up for it, but they didn't have any in stock. The most fashionable things always sell out the quickest I guess :sigh:
I've never been a fan of the douchey iphone mirror pics, but I heard the kids nowadays think they're "hip." Fist-pump dancing pics to come later!
#2 with the sweater on is probably the goofiest pic I have ever seen of you
ReplyDeletecan you tell I am holding the sweater tighter around my body with my left hand because the only one I could find was an XXL (I'm a medium)
ReplyDeleteAlso, we both know that is a lie Stevechen. There are hordes of pictures of me on the internet where I look ridiculous.
You are too much. By the way, I think I may have met the love of my life on OKCupid. It's too soon to tell at this point....
ReplyDelete